Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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