Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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