Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
are you still at the devil's house?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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