I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
