Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
