Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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