I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
