if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
