I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
