I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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