And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
