Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
