; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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