To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
