There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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