Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
