i think my tv is drunk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
