and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
