I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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