remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
