Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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