worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
