Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
