I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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