Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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