I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
