Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize