I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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