Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
