11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
