I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
