Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
