I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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