watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
