**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
