he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
