Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
