His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
