actually, I'm a sock model
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
