did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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