plz talk dirty to me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
