he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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