i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
