It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
