So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
