the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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