You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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