i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
