Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
