yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
