sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
