Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
