Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
no you cant smoke seaweed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
